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The wave of job transfers hit after the year,Should I change the runway? 3 questions to check whether to leave

年末將至許多人都想轉換跑道換換工作。however,想在年後轉職卻提不起勇氣的人也不是少數工作就像在和情人交往只要有了「想離開」的念頭就該好好思考這間公司到底適不適合我? 不確定是否要轉換跑道害怕轉職後沒有想像中好又或是想離職卻找不到理由說服自己下定決心等等種種的問題糾結在腦袋令人一個頭兩個大如果你也遇到了以上的煩惱你可以問問自己以下三個問題確認自己的心是否還在現在的公司以及是否已經做好轉職的準備想離職?問問自己3個問題 問題一公司有滿足你的需求嗎? 夢想固然重要但實際面還是要納入考量轉換跑道前問問自己對於福利薪水通勤距離和工作環境是否滿意?公司願景和老闆理念是否與自己相符?若滿意的程度沒有超過六成就該好好考慮轉職了問題二是否能在工作中獲得成就感? 若這份工作無法帶給你成就感就代表你的能力遠遠超越現在的職位也就是說只要你願意多去嘗試轉換跑道絕對可以找到比現在更好的工作。In addition,一個無法讓你獲得成就感的工作容易把你塑造成社會中的行屍走肉若持續的將時間耗在那到未來發現自己一事無成時只會留下滿滿的空虛問題三你開心嗎? 這個問題看似簡單卻也最難達到很多人會覺得「哪有工作是開心的啊?」但轉職前有件事必須好好思考工作佔了人生中的三分之一如果做得不開心豈不是白活了嗎?所以認真想想自己做得開不開心也是件重要的事如果以上的問題都是否定的話不用因為現況無法符合自己期待而難過。on the contrary,你可以放手追逐你的夢想轉換跑道朝更偉大的目標前進而問完以上問題卻還是猶豫不決的不用著急你只是還沒準備好轉職給自己一點時間好好整理現況再轉換跑道也不遲。 Further reading: 大家是不是都討厭我? 3個方法讓你增加自信員工表現差強人意?企業教練幫你拴緊企業中的小螺絲如何讓自己快樂? 經科學證實 5個快樂的方法

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Does everyone hate me? 3 ways to increase your confidence / Figure:Pexels

Does everyone hate me? 3 ways to increase your confidence

增加自信看似簡單卻不容易只要是人都會有沒自信心的時候這時你只需要做幾件事就能增加自信讓你重拾自信心! 你是否常常覺得自己有很多缺點?外表不好看個性不討喜也沒什麼才能?感情上總認為喜歡的人不喜歡自己事業上老覺得同事長官對你有偏見? 在這庸庸碌碌的現代每個人都為了生活甚至是生存捨棄了許多事捨棄了夢想理想;gradually,捨棄了創造快樂的本能負面想法充斥在每日的生活中批評惡言使得自己越來越沒自信心亞洲國家的傳統教育要我們精益求精好還要再更好這樣的環境塑造了我們總是對自己不滿意的人格總是追求完美且總愛時不時對自己挑三揀四認為自己一無是處沒有人是生而完美的沒自信不可怕可怕的是你想要變得更好卻老是在否定自己!不斷地批評自己並不會讓你增加自信變得更好只會讓你壓力更大更沒自信想要增加自信你可以試試以下三種方式方法一增進自己的優點 想要增加自信你必須先肯定自己並不是要滿意自己做的每件事而是先從小事開始認同問問別人「我有什麼優點?」若有人說你是個很熱心的人你就可以發展這項優點去幫助更多人又或者有人稱讚你很會做菜你也能精進廚藝培養這項專長專注在精進某件事上面就能慢慢建立起自信方法二每天鼓勵自己 除了培養專長外你也可以試試每天給自己鼓勵的話像是對鏡子裡的自己說「你做得很好」「你很努力」或是「你是最棒的」等這類正向的語句根據吸引力法則只要不斷地鼓勵自己你將成為你想要的樣子方法三記錄下自己的好 將自己表現得不錯的事記錄下來並要求自己每天至少要寫三項優良事蹟這樣做的目的是讓你意識到自己的優點當你又對自己沒自信時把日記拿出來看看。in fact,你比你想像中還要優秀! 增加自信不僅能使生活更加快樂也可以提升工作的效率若你是個對自己沒自信的人不妨試看看以上三種增加自信的方法讓自己成為更好的人。 Further reading: 如何讓自己快樂? 經科學證實 5 個快樂的方法 工作壓力大想死? 三步驟粉碎壓力!讓你更認識自己,6

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How to make yourself happy? Scientifically proven 5 ways to be happy / Figure:Pexels

How to make yourself happy? Scientifically proven 5 ways to be happy

「如何讓自己快樂?」是所有人畢生的功課也是許多人不停在追求的事情。however,並不是所有人都知道快樂的方法擁有負面思想也是無可避免的究竟快樂的方法有哪些?其實沒有一定的答案所有的人都是不同個體有著不同的性格與特質快樂的方法也就不一樣以下分享6種可能適合你的方法告訴你如何讓自己快樂方法一 多微笑 每天出門前對著鏡子裡的自己笑一下。 Research indicates that,當人微笑時大腦會釋放多巴胺這會使人感到快樂在意識到自己的情緒低落時提醒自己「笑一下」而這個微笑並不是單純的「假笑」是需要嘗試「真實的笑」將嘴角向上使眼睛自然地瞇在一起甚至可以想想有趣的事讓自己放聲大笑微笑的功效不僅如此除了使自己更快樂時常微笑也能讓自我感覺良好注意力和思路都會有所提升在工作表現上將更加出色可說是一舉兩得方法二 多運動 運動不只是為了要身體健康同時也是舒緩壓力增加喜悅的一個方法一天給自己 7 minute,選一項適合自己的運動像是飯後散步或是早晨的慢跑,Are good choices。 在《幸福優勢》( The Happiness Advantage )一書裡提到了一項研究有三組憂鬱症患者透過藥物治療運動或兩者結合的方式治癒了憂鬱症而這個研究令人驚訝的是僅僅服用藥物治療的組別在後期復發的機率有 38 %;藥物運動結合治療的有 31 %;單靠運動治癒的只有 9 %。由此可知運動的重要性是不容小覷的方法三

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World-weariness is not a sin, embrace your negative energy! / Picture from pexels

World-weariness is not a sin, let’s release your negative energy!

Is a world-weary life that bad? Seeing nothing is pleasing to the eye、Feel that everything is so troublesome、I feel so tired to be alive! Many people think that world-weariness will only bring negative effects,But actually,People who can embrace negative energy,The mental state is often stronger! Do you always look at nothing pleasing to your eyes、Feel that everything is so troublesome、Feel tired of being alive? Maybe many people think that being tired of the world will only bring negative effects。however,Research indicates that,Excessive positive energy will make the pressure more and more heavier;People who can embrace negative energy,Mental state is often stronger。 Releasing negative energy first show moderately,World-weariness allows you to clarify the reality, release negative energy, first show the negative energy moderately,Not only a good way to vent stress,也能在關鍵時刻避免危機發生知名精神科醫師林耕新在2015年發表的文章中指出過度的正面思考會讓人忽略真實存在的危險與困境在意識到那些危機後便會變得無法適應現實進而造成心靈更加憂鬱就像是在駕駛車輛過度樂觀的人也許會認為「只要我是安全駕駛我將能平安到達目的地。」;厭世的人或許會這麼想「就算我駕駛得再怎麼安全還是有可能被別人撞」而現實則是意外總是來得出其不意當其他車輛意外衝撞過來時厭世的人反而能比樂觀者更快注意到危險的存在並盡可能地避開。 Excessive optimism makes the mood even lower, two American psychologists Julie Norem and Nancy Cantor,Published a well-known paper in 1986。Two nouns are proposed,Strategic optimism與Defensive pessimism,That is, "strategic optimism" and "defensive pessimism"。 People with "strategic optimism" traits,Good at imagining good results,And hope to do my best to complete it;而「防衛型悲觀」特質的人則是用消極的心態去預測可能會發生的錯誤且在作業時盡可能避免錯誤雖然這兩種類型的人在處事上都能有相當的成就但相較之下「策略型的樂觀」的人又比「防衛型悲觀」有機會產生較大的壓力這是由於期望落空的緣故。 In addition,Julie Norem also stated in her book (The Positive Power Of Negative Thinking),World-weary negative energy can often turn into positive energy,Demonstrate better results at work。 World-weariness is not a sin. Excessive optimism is even more dangerous. In addition to the points mentioned above,Many studies have also pointed out-the mental state of "must be optimistic",Easy to cause more stress。 Like the 2016 Emotion journal "Is it happier to be forced to think positively?"、Sophie, a psychologist at Ohio State University Medical Center

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Accomplishing life goals is a piece of cake! An exclusive secret that will be used for a lifetime / image from pexels

Completing the list of life goals is a piece of cake! Exclusive secrets that will last a lifetime

The list of life goals seems out of reach,Want to finish but always can't do it? Hundreds of ways to accomplish goals,But which one is really effective? Buy a car、Buy a house、Travel around the world、marry、Give birth、elderly life…,Want to do a lot,But what can I do now? I will tell you today,How to rely on the "three questions",Let yourself reach your life goals smoothly! ! Everyone has several goals in life,But where to start and finish,Is the most difficult thing。How do I know what I can do now? First of all,You have to clarify the "three questions"。after that,"How to start?Will be solved。 Three questions to help you complete the list of planning life goals 1. What do I want? Make a list of life goals,Focus on firepower to achieve dreams。There are not too many items in this life goal list,Because each stage will have different dreams,And too many goals are unrealistic,Unable to achieve。So list up to five goals,And how long do I hope to complete。Regardless of physiological needs、Relationships,Or career planning、Future expectations,Can be regarded as a goal。E.g:I want to buy a house in ten years。 2.What restricts me? Clarify the status quo,Consider your identity,And think about family、jobs、What restricts me from socioeconomic status。Dreaming is the most beautiful,But we must also bow to reality。But don't worry,Bowing your head now doesn't mean you can't lift your head。To figure out the current situation is not to give up your dreams,But to make yourself towards the right goal,Move faster。Ask yourself what are the possible reasons that prevent me from achieving my goals in life? And write them down one by one。E.g:I don't have enough deposit。 3.How can I break the restrictions? Find what you can do now,And proceed to。As long as I really want to do it,Anything can be done! (Excluding things that violate ethics)。But everything is hard to start,How to start is the biggest test。therefore,"Planning" is a very important part。Set life goals、After clarifying the reality,I also know what difficulties I encountered,You can start planning,Turn big problems into small problems,Small problems become okay。E.g:Start saving money tomorrow,Cost reduction by two thousand yuan a month。 Remarks:When you reach the third step,The task to be completed may be a little difficult,At this time, continue to disassemble the problem into smaller ones、Easier problems。You can also make the task more specific、More detailed completion time and completion method。E.g:Buy two less clothes a month。 Using the right method, buying a house in the list of life goals is not a problem.,You must keep asking yourself the above three questions:"What do I want?"、"What restricts me?"、"How can I break the restrictions?"。In addition,You can also ask the same set of questions repeatedly,Make "planning" more perfect。E.g:From the original "I want to buy a house in ten years,But i don't have enough deposit,So I should save money。"Extends to "I want to reduce spending by 2,000 yuan per month,But the desire to shop makes me spend too much money,So I will buy two less clothes in a month。"The question is at the end,Which means "buy two less clothes a month",Is already an easy goal。Start to complete life goals from now on,Will be much easier。 Now that the planning method is available,Then strike while the iron is hot,Pick up the paper and pen,Immediately draw up a blueprint of your own life goal! As for how to describe it? We can use mind maps to analyze this list of life goals。Examples are as follows: Starting from the big goal (buying a house within ten years),Find out that insufficient income and deposits are the main obstacles。therefore,In the next branch, it can be presented in two points,And indicate the main reasons for insufficient income and deposits。Keep exploring,Can clarify what I can do,Reading management books、Take communication classes and buy two less clothes a month。 Practice is the main thing and the mind is the second. I believe many people have read or heard the book "Secret"-as long as there is a life goal,And want to achieve the goal,You will move towards the goal。This is actually very simple,When you want to accomplish something,Will naturally start planning。gradually,Shallow consciousness will tell itself that it must be done。There is a 34-year-old woman in Japan, Saki,Relying on 15 years of frugality,Bought three houses。The mental method she uses is to set the goal of life on the notepad:I will buy a second house at the age of 29;And bought the third building at the age of 34。In this way,Dreams will naturally be closer to reality,Will be completed along the way。(Extended reading:Save money and buy three houses! A 27-year-old girl in Japan who is determined to buy a house, 6 years after the interview is already a charter wife) Life goals list Complete now! Combining the above points,Can draw a conclusion:The way to accomplish life goals is to make an oath to yourself (life goals),Then kept asking myself "What do I want?"、"What restricts me?"、"How can I break the restrictions?",And start planning right away。It is not difficult to accomplish life goals,The difficulty is whether you are willing to devote yourself to planning for the goal,And work hard for it。At last,Still an old saying,As long as you have the heart,It must be done! Go forward bravely toward your dream!

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Work pressure is too big to breathe? Three ways to help you release your stress/picture from pexels

Want to die under pressure at work? Three steps to crush the pressure!

工作壓力大到讓你的生活亂了腳步?面臨主管的打壓同事的競爭努力扛下責任生活的你背後卻是繳不完的房貸稅金無力無助壓得你喘不過氣人體就像是一個氣球給了太多的空氣造成過大的壓力總有一天會因承受不住而爆炸工作壓力大是現代人的通病若是放著不管恐怕會影響身心健康及人際關係甚至與最親的家人距離愈來愈遠但究竟要如何適當的排解工作壓力呢?讓我們給自己十分鐘好好思考壓力對自己而言是什麼吧! 工作壓力大想死? 必須先認識壓力 壓力源是從哪來的? 不停忍耐加上無法釋放,Cause more and more stress。however,When the pressure is not properly relieved,Only a vicious circle,Infinitely expand the pressure。Disturbance in the workplace,You must know that if you are out of society。Suspicion among colleagues、Supervisor's distrust、A pile of unfinished work…,Want to change but don't know what to do。Obviously I work very hard,But someone is pulling his hind legs behind his back,But because of maintaining the friendship between colleagues,你總是擔任包容體諒的角色但你是否想過在包容他人的同時有多少的怨氣怒氣無奈吞進了你的肚子裡?一點一滴的使你壓力越來越大進而工作壓力大想死工作壓力將如何影響你? 適當的壓力使人成長但若是壓力調適不當過多的壓力只會讓身心無法負荷健康亮起紅燈壓力是種慢性病它的影響力遠大於你的想像不停地侵蝕著你的身心不只是內心因壓力而鬱悶導致情緒不穩定身體也會出狀況內分泌失調心律不整腸胃疾病免疫力下降甚至是增加了心血管疾病的致死的風險中華民國心臟基金會曾針對國內三大都會區的一千多名上班族做職場調查其中有將近八成的受訪者每天工作超過七個小時更有一大部分的人因工作壓力而幾乎天天失眠別小看工作壓力所帶來的威力正視它所帶來的影響才有辦法有效地解決它。 It’s not uncommon to hear about cases of death due to work pressure,News about health problems caused by overwork is not uncommon.。How to effectively relieve stress? The writer John Miller mentioned in his book,"You can't change others,Only oneself can change。"When all the unpleasantness comes one after another,Can only change self,Adjust mentality、調整工作步伐才是解決壓力的關鍵喘口氣吧! 釋放工作壓力三大招 安排時間是門藝術放鬆也是行程的一環不只是事務執行的時間安排放鬆時間的安排也是必要的將自分內的事務一條一條列下按照輕重緩急去排序再一樣樣解決時時注意自己是否有所延誤,Also remember not to delay。Once the first item is delayed,Subsequent tasks will also fall short of the estimated completion time,Make work more and more stressful。As for the time after get off work,Or a holiday to breathe,Arrange a period of relaxation、Worry-free itinerary! Whether watching TV at home、listen to music、daze,Or outing with family,Are good choices。 Maybe someone would think,特地安排放鬆是在浪費時間。however,根據美國加利福尼亞大學的研究間歇性的壓力使大腦細胞活化雖能有效加強記憶但持續的壓力會使大腦抑制新細胞的發展進而導致效率降低所以適時的放鬆是相當重要的此外不妨也將短暫的放鬆放入工作清單中,Give yourself time to activate brain cells when you’re busy,Work efficiency can be improved! Switch working mode、Positive reply to yourself is the beginning of progress。 Try different working modes,You can also ask other people’s suggestions,Make your work ability more and more improved。however,Not everything can end perfectly on the premise of taking care of yourself。Like meeting the supervisor、同事處處刁難你的情況這時只要改變心態用正面詞句回覆自己問題就會迎刃而解例如「這是個磨練的好機會」又或者「他只是在嫉妒我我要更努力往上游讓他啞口無言」那心情就會平復許多工作壓力也會隨之減緩甚至還能讓工作能力逐漸上升。 In addition,Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, once did an experiment,The content of the experiment is,Just remind employees of the meaning and importance of work,They will be more motivated,And become more productive。So reminding yourself of the meaning and importance of work is also one of the ways to relieve stress。 Don't hold on yourself,Someone can assist you! When you find that the pressure is so great that it makes you uncomfortable,Don't be afraid to ask for help。Everyone has stress,That's not abnormal,It can even be said to be a very common phenomenon。People who collapse due to stress are not less resistant to stress,But more proficient than others。If the above methods can't help you,Then it's time to hand over to the professional。Like Mr. Zhang’s special line 1980、Lifeline 1995 or the Department of Health Safe Line 0800-788-995,There are professional consultants to relieve your worries and boredom。Among those who have participated in the consultation,There are also more than 80% that professional consultation effectively solves the pressure。 If you think the pressure is still under control,But I still feel depressed from time to time,May wish to participate in some spiritual exploration related courses or courses to regulate emotional stress,Professional teachers can also be tailored for you,Give effective assistance。must remember,Stress is not a disease,But the pressure is life-threatening。Don't ignore the pressure,Self-communication、Seek relatives and friends or professional advice,Don't always stand alone,That is unhealthy! Relieve from stress with the right method World Health Organization(WHO)this year(2019)Conduct stress index surveys for various countries,data shows that,台灣位居壓力指數排行第二名並有96%的人經常感受到壓力可見在台灣壓力是個多麼普遍的現象甚至是變成了習慣而漸漸無視了他壓力遠比我們想像的複雜許多不僅牽扯著人體系統還關係到心理學的議題花點時間了解自己的壓力才有機會和它

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一個男人垂頭喪氣

如何一次達成目標管理?5方法先從「放下」開始

目標管理是很重要的有時候太多的想法或目標同時進行會使人被壓得喘不過氣遇到這種時候該怎麼做? 目標管理要實行但同時追求多樣的目標是件困難的事情,E.g:新年的時候為自己設下新目標要求自己每天早起寫作健身及大量閱讀這當中的每一件事對我們都很好因此我們通常會很興奮地開始執行結果一天天過去後卻發現自己怎麼越來越沒動力?接著便漸漸開始犯起「拖延症」到最後我們很有可能連半個想法都沒有去落實當自己同時被太多想法或目標淹沒時不妨試試以下 5 種方法目標管理作法一為自己的目標設定「迷你期限」 英國歷史與政治學者──帕金森(Cyril Northcote Parkinson)在 1957 年提出了「帕金森定律」此定律又稱為「芝麻綠豆定律」意旨「花費大量時間討論無關緊要的瑣事對於真正重大的決議卻快速了結的現象」當我們在同一項任務花費太多的時間我們被「帕金森定律」影響的可能性就越大。 for example,如果給我們一周的期限來完成原本只需 3 小時的任務我們將會不知不覺增加這個任務的複雜性並且在這一週的時間當中不斷拖延對抗這種現象最好的方法就是為自己設定「迷你期限」強迫自己在更短的時間範圍內完成任務如果想要試著展開行動可以從建立「日常任務清單」開始概略地附上每項任務完成所需花費的時間並且將每項任務所需的時間都減去一半要求自己把這個時間做為期限在這之前完成任務目標管理作法二善用 80/20 法則 通俗地來說,80/20 法則說明了我們所付出的 20 %,會為我們的任務結果貢獻其餘的 80 %。for example,想減肥的人必須去健身運動有些運動項目(如高強度短跑)只需花 20

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克服恐懼迎向光明

How to overcome social phobia? 3 big minds to regain action,The first step is to know yourself

Social phobia,Is a symptom that many people have,Have you ever had a lot of things to do,Why can't I be motivated? Finally vacation,Just want to stay at home,Lying on the sofa and watching TV,No vitality in the whole body? Eager to try at first,But didn't want to do it later,In the end, nothing was done? Knowing yourself is the key,How do you know yourself,Can you help yourself be more motivated? The following share 3 major actions,Recommended for those who desire effective self-change。 The first step in overcoming social phobia:Know yourself,我的心魔是什麼? 認識自己,Seems very abstract,A more colloquial statement,It’s "Analysis of self-problem"。 Whether you want to lose weight、Learn language、Practice a certain skill,Want to make yourself better,These changes are not simple,The key to self-change is to know yourself,Instead of challenging willpower。Want to change yourself,The first step must be to analyze the self problem,That is to find out the reasons for past failures,To clarify why it became like this,在哪些狀況下自己沒辦法堅持所造成的? 第一步很難,But it is critical! because,Know yourself,Must be able to admit their weaknesses,And dig into the reasons for my repeated failures,Otherwise, we will always work in the wrong place。在《為什麼我們這樣生活那樣工作?》一書中提出了「習慣迴路」理論,The author expressed his desire to break the old habits,Automatic navigation mechanism to develop new habits,The key to knowing yourself lies in self-awareness。 Habits cannot be changed,Can replace,The first step is to know yourself,Find out the inner automatic navigation mechanism。E.g:A person who wants to lose weight,Can't get rid of the habit of eating snacks at work,Only know yourself and explore the core issues,才會發現自己戒不掉零食的原因可能是因為想逃避工作壓力等等掌握核心問題之後這才對症下藥付諸行動力,Alternative behaviors can find someone to chat or chew gum to relieve stress,The ability to act in response to the problem can effectively change itself。therefore,Knowing yourself is an important exercise。 The second step to overcome social phobia:Setting goal,What do I really want? It's not enough to admit one's weaknesses,You must also seriously think about "what do you want?",E.g:我到底渴望什麼?我想成為怎麼樣的人?我到底想完成什麼事情?未來想要什麼樣的生活?想在別人面前呈現一個怎樣的自己? 設定目標超關鍵!就好比你今天想要去某個地方,If you don't have a goal,Even how to get there? Where to go? How much time does it take? These have no clue,Not to mention what kind of action it will have。 If you don’t figure out what you really want,No matter how hard you work, it's wasted,May even let yourself go against the goal,In the end, I got farther and farther away from what I wanted。You will find,Many people didn’t plan to play for real,比方說,Many people call for weight loss all day,But the mouth still keeps eating。therefore,If you want to make the change happen,I have to set a goal for myself。 Here comes the key! Set this goal,Must be visible to you,Once I feel a little challenged,你必須要脫離現在的舒適圈才能去達成但這個目標又不會讓你完全做不到因為設定合適的目標才會讓你相信自己其實是可以完成的如果一開始太貪心設定的目標太大了大到讓你的心裡沒辦法相信那麼設定這個目標對你而言是沒有意義的設定目標是為了給自己一個付諸行動力的方向唯有設定了目標之後每天早上起來才會知道自己到底要完成什麼?有哪些事情自己應該要去做?雖然這個目標現在離自己還有點遠但是沒關係它確實是可以完成的唯有「真心相信」自己可以做的到,So I won't give up all at once。 The third step to overcome social phobia:Assess the status,我願意犧牲什麼? 第一步找出核心問題之後,Also set suitable goals,Know where I am going,Next, you have to know how many resources you currently have,評估自己預備怎麼達到這個目標?畢竟一廂情願地為自己訂目標是空泛的因為很有可能自己根本沒有達成那目標的條件。 after all,跑馬拉松是目的一個有在跑步的人跟一個沒有運動習慣的人賽前擬定的運動計畫就會截然不同。therefore,弄清楚自己到底欠缺什麼至關重要第一了解自己的實力到哪裡? 第二了解自己跟目標的距離? 這樣子,Only then can I exchange the resources I have for the goals I desire,E.g:Use sweat and time to exchange figures;Exchange language skills with effort and money,After all, no one can ask for everything,By evaluating objective conditions and understanding the current situation,Implement the three major actions,Get the life you really want to have。 See here,Are you eager to regain your mobility? At last,Might as well write down two things:1Write down one thing I want to achieve,A goal that has never been achieved。2What does this goal mean to you? What are the benefits after reaching it? In this way,Distance dream,One step closer。

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親子關係與溝通技巧

讓孩子認識自己激勵自主學習親子關係不可忽略這3個溝通技巧

「為什麼他們都不肯多用功一點!」孩子總是不主動學習親子關係中父母總是不知道該怎麼辦啊!親子關係中許多父母渴望孩子跟自己無話不談卻忘了傳達愛的溝通技巧不少父母與孩子的溝通技巧近乎於零常以責罵批評嘮叨碎唸威權命令等取代對孩子的關心久而久之孩子就不會跟你說學校的事了以下分享3大關鍵溝通技巧協助父母與孩子建立美好親子關係為什麼孩子會在父母面前禁閉心靈呢? 英國教育家斯賓塞說過「孩子在想什么?面臨怎樣的問題?孩子的內心世界就像一個藏滿秘密的盒子在這個盒子裡有動物有人物有夢境有情緒雜亂無章地塞在里面如果不經常打開來看看有一天當你不經意地打開時也許會從裡面跑出一只老鼠來嚇你一大跳」 許多父母最常犯的錯誤就是不去理解孩子的想法一昧以自己的想法主觀去推斷這樣子的結果就是親子關係緊張。In this way,無論父母怎麼激勵孩子結果都會是「恨鐵不成鋼」別忘了,Communication skills,也是一種教育方式讓孩子更認識自己方法一不當法官學做律師聽孩子把話說完 如果孩子一發生問題父母就立即當起「法官」教訓孩子等於直接斷絕了進入孩子內心世界的機會誰都有犯錯的時候家長也不例外尤其當父母以權威式或指責式的口吻很容易讓孩子引起極大的反彈。therefore,在跟孩子溝通的時候父母務必先放下評估判斷要以開放的心胸和關心的口吻引導孩子說出他的想法要像「律師」對待自己的當事人一樣嘗試去傾聽孩子內心真正的想法在親子關係中第一個溝通技巧就是「理解」放下預設立場與批判花時間去傾聽孩子真正的想法與需求例子A這太困難了你不可能完成➙ 只要你花足夠的時間和精力一切皆有可能讓孩子更認識自己方法二不當裁判學做啦啦隊給孩子需要的支持 親子關係中有些父母喜歡幫孩子做決定自作主張去當「裁判 」用干涉與限制來保護孩子最常聽到的就是「我都是為了你好」甚至直接為孩子做決定回到課業上即使孩子表現不那麼突出只要父母善於發現和讚美孩子引導孩子以正確心態面臨失敗扮演好孩子的「啦啦隊」以支持代替限制父母就會是孩子最有力的後盾讓孩子有機會自己做主才能夠培養孩子獨立的性格與自信在親子關係中第二個溝通技巧就是「尊重」放手讓孩子學習做決定他不是學不會而是沒有被給予機會學習如何去做例子B隔壁小華不是跟你同班也在同一個補習班人家就不錯你怎麼每次都不如他?➙ 只要學習他的方法然後認真去做你也可以有辦法! 讓孩子更認識自己方法三不當老師學做朋友與孩子平等交流 孩子需要傾聽父母卻給了他們一大堆的建議卻說這都是父母的愛在親子關係中一旦父母只想當「老師」下指導棋孩子跟父母永遠是不平等的唯有父母願意與孩子平等相處試著站在孩子的角度看問題引導孩子說出真正的感受才有機會跟孩子當「朋友」與孩子一起分享過程的艱辛與快樂波折與歡笑讓孩子不害怕父母的「權威」真正進入孩子的內心世界在親子關係中第三個溝通技巧就是「平等」放下家長的架子蹲下來與孩子對話溝通更容易走進孩子的心靈例子C連這些也做不好我真是➙ 你現在可能做不好但沒關係慢慢往這個方向努力就會越來越擅長了父母愛孩子卻無法永遠保護一輩子孩子只有去經歷才有機會蛻變長大成人父母在家庭的角色只是扮演一個管理者掌握好這3大溝通技巧幫助孩子更加獨立與自信才能達到激勵孩子自主學習健康成長的效果

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